sometimes i have panic attacks and sometimes my baby pees on the floor

The Toddler decided to pee on the floor instead of in the potty today. I’m kind of okay with it. Urination occurred outside the diaper and that, as far as I’m concerned, is a step in the right direction.

She also seemed extremely disconcerted about the liquid pouring out of her body and proceeded to use her pee soaked pants to clean all the pee off the tile bathroom floor. She may suck at putting her urine in the proper place, but at least she cleans up after herself, which is more then I can say for her older brothers.

I had this massive and amazing panic attack while at Target with my SisterWife (of My Mom is Effing Nuts fame). Thank god she doesn’t judge me when I tell her, “Hey, I took a xanax on the way here but I can’t guarantee I’ll make it long.” She didn’t even bat an eye when I said I had to leave NOW.

I spent the drive home telling myself I didn’t need another xanax and that I wasn’t going to have a stroke and drive recklessly in to the cars around me, killing us all.

I was successful and nobody died because I tried to go to Target.




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