This morning I woke up and immediately started acting like an asshole. I’ve got my period and a nice case of seasonal depression that wasn’t cured by buying a whole lot of unnecessary shit at the new Trader Joe’s. Although, the salted dark chocolate caramels may be one of the most delicious things I’ve ever eaten.
So my husband, Travis, spiked my coffee. (My DECAF coffee because caffeine gives me a nasty case of the “panic attack”, so I didn’t even have the caffeine to counteract the booze.) I’m not sure if he was doing it to make me nicer or shut me up. Either way, it didn’t work and I just got mopey and spent an unnatural amount of time sitting on the bed staring longingly at the pile of dirty laundry, hoping against hope that it would magically (and instantly) wash itself.
Eventually I dug out some clean underwear and threw on some relatively clean clothes. Now I’m finishing my boozey coffee while the Toddler sleeps. It’s actually pretty delicious.
I’m going over to the Sister in Law’s house tonight to “teach” her to make trifle and drink wine and eat pizza. I’m just happy to have an excuse to make a decadent dessert that I don’t have to take home with me. I’m chunky enough
I’ll be brief.
That’s probably a lie.
I really like writing and sometimes my life is worth writing about at length.
Sometimes life is really dull.
Sometimes I want to write all the funny shit that happens down.
Sometimes I want to wax poetic about my kids and my spouse and my dogs (but not often because my dogs are assholes).
Sometimes I want to write about what it’s like to have an awkward ass case of anxiety of the generalized variety.
Sometimes I want to explain why I drink a lot of wine, but judge alcoholics really harshly.
Sometimes I want to promise that I’ll come back here and write all the time. That would be a lie though and I avoid that shit.
Sometimes I worry that if I swear as much on a blog as I do in real life then people won’t like me. Then I started reading the Bloggess and I now know that’s not true. Rather, it is true, but the people who won’t like me are douche bags and can get bent.
And so, here I go again. After abandoning multiple blogs, starting a new one.
This one is different for me though.
It has no theme. It will be scattered and unorganized and written in with reckless abandon.
You’ll learn soon that it’s just how I roll.
You’ll also learn that I use phrases that are totally inappropriate for a 30-something white married mother of three who lives in Utah to be using.
Also- I’m not Mormon. Just FYI.
Okay. Now we understand each other.
Let us begin.